Be a social butterfly...

We’ve just come back from a beautiful, relaxing holiday and we definitely deserved it!  It was a wonderful week and gave us the time and space to de-stress and recharge as a family.  One of the biggest stresses we’ve had to face recently was the investigation into Phillip’s assault last Summer.

The case dragged on and involved lots of painful and inconvenient rehashing of the events, as the culprit was denying that he was even in the same county at the time of the incident.  But at the eleventh hour, under the weight of overwhelming evidence, he plead guilty.

This meant that Phill wouldn’t be needed in court, so when the time came for him to be sentenced, we said goodbye to England and ya-sas to Cyprus!

This article is inaccurate but you get the gist.  He got off, kind of.  He’s not in Prison anyway.  He’s been fined, ordered to do community service and issued a suspended sentence, apparently on the grounds that he is a ‘family man’.

This doesn’t sit well with me if I’m honest.  In my opinion, family men do not take running jumps at complete strangers in bars, smashing their jaws, knocking out teeth and causing permanent nerve damage.   Family men set a good example for their children.  That’s what Phill did.  A yob attacked him and instead of retaliating and risking further injury, he collected himself and came home to his wife and child.

The culprit, who was by some crazy coincidence, a pupil at the same high school as me, has a daughter the same age as mine.  My daughter had nightmares and panic attacks and couldn’t hug her step father for a month for fear of hurting him.  She heard surgeons describe how he might’ve died had the punch landed in his nose.  She described Phill as looking ‘like his face was falling out of his mouth’ and she wasn’t far off, a piece of bone had pierced the inside of his mouth coming up through his gum!

After Phill was assaulted, I became an insane woman!  I could barely think/talk about anything but finding the culprit.  My Husband couldn’t physically speak at first and then when he could, he didn’t want to, even to me.  I had to be his advocate.   I liaised with police and hospitals and had to hear details about how this coward had seemingly picked my husband out, pushed friends into him in an attempt to pick a fight and then finally, when that didn’t work, had taken a running jump at him, hitting him from behind without warning.   Like a true coward.  I had to hear that he was evading arrest, denying his culpability, that things would take time, that I had to wait, be patient, don’t worry, calm down…..

All the time we had to live with the fact that this thug was going about his business as usual, enjoying Christmas, taking holidays, laughing, smiling.    It made me crazy, made me ill.  I hated the fact that this had happened to Phill, especially ‘up North’, in my part of the country, my hometown in fact.   I almost felt guilty, after all, Phill wouldn’t be living here were it not for me.   At the end of each day, I’d go to sleep knowing that next to me, Phill was in pain, knowing that I couldn’t even kiss my Husband goodnight and that nobody could tell me how long it would be before I could.  Seeing Phill broken, broke me.

This man had treated Phill like he was nothing more than a bit of cheap entertainment on a drunken night out.  Like he thought he was above the law, above what is generally expected of human beings, like violence was normal!  It seems some people aren’t happy unless they’ve thrown a punch.  He treated my husband like he meant nothing, but he means the World to me.

I won’t tell you how Phill feels, because I can’t, only he can do that.  Other than that he wants all of this to be over, I don’t think I’ll ever understand how he feels.

We are very grateful to the local police for their commitment to bringing this man to justice.  They put in alot of work and put up with me!  I made cupcakes for the whole team as promised and appreciated their support, but I hope we never need their help again!

family holiday cyprus

Thank you for all the love and support you have shown Phill through this horrendous time.  It has been very humbling indeed, you’re wonderful!  We’d now like to draw a line under the whole experience and move on, onwards and upwards 🙂

Love Rachel

x

PS. When you do finally decide to read this Phill, I love you x

 

Be a social butterfly...

  • Jessica Dearnley

    It sounds like you have really been through a lot lately, I’m glad justice prevailed.

    xx

    http://www.forevermissvanity.com

    • VintageFolly

      🙂 x

  • Hmmmf, not the quite outcome that that attacker deserved. I hope now you’ll all be able to move on and be a happy family once again.

    • VintageFolly

      It remains to be seen if he can behave for a year I suppose x

  • Lauren_W

    His attacker definitely didn’t deserve to walk away. I’m so sorry that this happened to Phill, it makes me sick that people think they can do this and treat people in this way.
    My brother in law was attacked a few years ago, when my sister in law tried to get him away from the attackers they smashed her head through a window. Their attacker was never arrested despite everyone knowing who it was.

    I’m glad you had a wonderful holiday, your family photo is beautiful xx

    • VintageFolly

      Thank you Lauren 🙂 The shocking thing is just how many people have a story like ours, like yours. It’s frightening and it has to stop. x

  • You know how I feel about all this. Love to all xxx

    • VintageFolly

      Thanks Nicole x

  • I’m gutted it’s not the outcome he deserved/you wanted, but I’m glad you had a lovely break together as a family and that you’re able to walk away from it, I can imagine it would be easy to get very bitter over something like this. Sending hugs, Sophie xx

    • VintageFolly

      Sophie, I am one of those people that find it hard to let go! I think if I could feel like he truly understood and regretted his actions, I could move on right now, but I don’t feel like that. The most important thing is that Phill wants to let it go now and so that’s what i have to do. xxx PS. Holiday was amazeballs 🙂

      • Glad holiday was amazeballs, good luck with leaving it in the past, I’m with you on this one, I’m not very good at walking away xxx

  • Donna Navarro

    It sounds like it’s been a tough time for you all. I hope the offender engages in his Community Order – if he doesn’t of course, his Suspended Sentence will be enforced and he’ll find himself in prison. Let’s hope he has learned his lesson and I hope you and your family can find some kind of solace and move on from this horrible experience.

    • VintageFolly

      thank you x

  • Good to know that there was justice although it wasn’t as perfect as you wanted it to be. At least it is some kind of closure and you can all move on to happier times.

    • VintageFolly

      very true x

  • Mellissa Williams

    How awful, I am so sorry this has happened to your family. There are some horrendous people in the world. I only hope that you eventually you can move on and draw a line under it. You can never forget though. You have done wonders being his advocate and supporting him too.