Be a social butterfly...

This time tomorrow, I’ll be on the other side of the World!

Phill is going on a business trip to China for a couple of days and as his business partner can’t go, I get to tag along 🙂

For those worried that we shouldn’t be advertising our empty home to any would-be burglars, please don’t panic.  My brother is housesitting; he’s a gentle giant of a man and will probably be at home more than we usually are!
I’m so excited; despite the washing machine malfunction and resulting restricted wardrobe, despite the drama of organising Beth’s stay at two different houses (her Dad returns from the Falklands while we’re away) and despite the fact that given the distance, we’ll be travelling for almost two days for a stay of just three……I’m still over the moon!!!
Once again I’m off to a place that once upon a time I could only dream about!
Yes it’s a work trip and yes there will be meetings, appointments and proper, grown up things that must be done…..but for at least some of this trip, I will be that child who used to dream about The Forbidden City, Jade Palace and The Great Wall.
So I’m incredibly excited and I feel so, so, lucky to have this opportunity.  The only thing that could make me happier about China, is if Beth were coming with us.  But school comes first, her Dad’s return is so important and whistle stop business trips are no fun for children.
I hate leaving Beth!  I hate it, I really do.  Sometimes, I wonder whether I actually suffer from some form of separation anxiety.  I’m fine for a night, or a day, especially if I’m busy; but if she’s away and things get quiet, I really feel her absence.   So I keep busy when I’m not with her and remind myself that  one day she will grow up and leave home and I’ll just have to deal with it lol.
But going abroad is a different story altogether.  Holidays without Beth don’t happen very often, but when they do, like our Honeymoon, it feels so strange.  Not only is she not with us, but she’s in a different country, even a different continent.
What if something happens to us while we’re away, what would happen to her?  What if something happens to Beth while we’re away, we couldn’t get to her? What if she’s poorly?  What if she’s sad?  What if she misses us?  What if she doesn’t!?  Added to that is my hatred of saying goodbye to anyone, but especially Beth.  I’m the Mum who despite six years of school, still has a tear in her eye on the first day back after Summer!
Even earlier on, knowing that I was going to be saying goodbye tonight, I could feel my chest tighten and tears catch in the back of my throat.  Which explains why I went a bit OTT.
I wrote out a ‘Beth Manual’ (not joking!) with instructions on how to look after our girl, I packed her Flopsy Bunny (bought before she was born) and a book about family trees (she’s shown a real interest recently) and I made her a wheat pack with her initial on it.  I want everything to go smoothly, I don’t want her to worry about anything and I want there to be lots of things that remind her that Mummy loves her very much.
You see even though Beth looks like this…
…in my heart she still looks like this.
 I’m not really a Mumzilla.  Maybe I worry a little too much?  Maybe it’s because in my eyes, as in every mother’s, my daughter will always be my baby?  …..or maybe I am a Mumzilla after all!!
Love Rachel
x
PS. Saying goodbye wasn’t too bad in the end, thanks to Dad’s dog Sally chasing her tail throughout lol!  My Dad, Step-Mum and Sister will look after Beth so well and I know she’ll have a great time with them and with her Dad later this week.  Now if I could just get to sleep!?!  Sooo excited!

Be a social butterfly...