Just recently, our daughter seems to have grown up. She has always been an old soul. As a baby she was just weeks old when she sat up and began to observe the World. She always looked like she ‘knew things’. She spoke much earlier than she walked, forming complete sentences by the time she was one. She’s was amazing from the moment she opened her eyes.
I think it’s fair to say she has had alot to deal with during her little life so far. Beth’s Father and I separated in quite the blaze of glory, just weeks before her first day of school and soon after I became ill with a condition that causes black outs. Often Beth would be the only one in the house when they occurred. I wish my daughter had never had to consider such emergencies, but she did, with a maturity beyond her years and I have so much respect for my little girl for going way beyond coping.
When I found out I was expecting Beth, SHE was something that was happening to MY life. MY baby was born two weeks late; it’s ME that introduces her to Ballet; it’s MY decisions that will shape the person she will become. Beth was MY shadow, she was very much a part of MY life. Just recently I have noticed a change.
Beth was born with plenty of personality but over the last few months she has really begun to show it. My girl has some strong opinions and frankly I am proud of her attitude towards life, her understanding of other people and her sense of right and wrong. Just recently some of her comments about current affairs have been startling in their conviction and I have gazed at her in awe as she makes sense of our crazy World.
I realise she is growing up. Occasionally I look at her and can almost see an adult’s face waiting behind her child’s eyes. Her time is about to begin. Whereas I used to tell stories about my Mother, assessing her strengths, her mistakes, her influences upon me; now she will begin to consider me in a similar way. We sat waiting for a train and it was she that produced an iPod from HER bag and offered to let me share her headphones! I am a supporting act in somebody else’s story.
Time it seems is passing more quickly with every year. I just hope she feels adored. Not just loved, but adored; every hair, every breath, every word. I’m going to try to make the most of these last few years when my child is a child and hope that she still likes to have me around when she’s a grown up. You know….when I stop being this cool! 😛