Be a social butterfly...

Look at this…

…I am not exaggerating when I say that this is the first time my dining/kitchen table has been clear in around 2 weeks.  It’s been so long that it actually looks a little bit odd :-S  I’m so pleased to see it empty that I think I’ll just leave it like this, no flowers or candles, no fruit bowl, just completely empty….bliss.

Until you glance to the right and see that I’ve just moved all the clutter onto the dumping ground dresser.

I feel like a hamster on a wheel right now; like I’m borrowing time from one task to make up for neglecting another, only to see that I need to go back to the original task before everything falls apart.

There should be time for everything and there would be time for everything if I wasn’t so tired.  Part of the reason I’m tired is that I’m not sleeping very well and part of the reason I’m not sleeping very well is that our bedroom is a disaster area!  You can barely see the floor (says the woman who was complaining about her daughter’s bedroom!), I don’t know where anything is and for all I know there could be  dead bodies in there!  A group of illegal immigrants could be living in my wardrobe and I wouldn’t know because I’ve been living out of the laundry basket!!

Tidy body, tidy mind.

I’ve tried really I have.  Despite having a string of press events and work commitments, I had managed to get ahead on the laundry (all 6 weeks worth – remember the broken washing machine?) and then we went away for a few days for Phill’s birthday and I was back to square one.  I gutted Beth’s bedroom and then we shuffled everything onto the landing (where a large portion of it remains) so that we could change the flooring.  I cleared up the hallway and then life happened!!  School bags happened, shoes happened, more shoes happened, junk mail happened and all of a sudden it’s an embarrassing sight.

The positives?  Things are going well on the writing front.  This site is thriving, my work for Modern Vintage Magazine is way ahead of schedule and I think I’m finally (FINALLY!!!!!) getting noticed.    One year into our marriage and Phill and I laugh together every single day and our girl is healthy and clumsy lol and happy and doing brilliantly at school.

Life or more specifically my responsibilities, seem to exist in three parts:  Home, (potentially) professional and personal.  When I succeed at one or two, I fail miserably at the third.  I suppose you might say the house is the least important of the three?  Until someone breaks their neck tripping over something!!

Cleaning this home from top to bottom, which is what I need to do, will make us all feel better.  But I guarantee that the moment I sit down to congratulate myself afterwards, the moment my lips touch that well deserved cup of tea, I’ll realise that I’ve missed an appointment, that I’m running late for the school run or that I’ve received a string of urgent (aren’t they all :-/) messages while I’ve been busy.

I don’t think any of us ever have everything under control all of the time….I don’t think we ever will.  I think you have to be proud of small victories, treat yourself kindly and try to find a little peace amidst the madness of modern life.

So I’ve decided to congratulate myself with a nice 5 minute sit down.  This cup of tea right here, is my reward for doing three lots of laundry, returning all of my emails, cleaning the kitchen and dining table (sort of) and making a cake for my little family.

As I sit here writing, I can smell it baking and I feel like a good Mum/Wife, but as I’m writing I also feel like I’m not letting that side of myself down.  Sadly the baking has undone some of my good work in the kitchen so I’m going to remedy that before I move on to the next room…..and the next room…..and the next room.

How’s your balancing act going?

Love Rachel

x

Be a social butterfly...

  • I think I feel much the same as you Rachel. Being a business owner and trying to build a good reputation I find it hard to get the balance that I feel happy/ok with. I miss my young son when I’m at work and feel tired when I’m home so he doesn’t get the best of me. My house constantly feels like the local tip but on my day off I want to play with my son. I keep waiting for me to start to feel like it’s coming together and I won’t feel like it’s all going to come undone at any moment. I do feel a little better knowing that I’m not the only person who finds balancing not so easy.

    • Rachel

      Now I feel better knowing that someone else feels that way!! lol.

      I think things will all work out and your lovely boy is lovely and clearly feels loved so you are succeeding there for sure. xxx