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This post will include talk of surgery, ladies parts, fertility and ‘wounds’. If any of this bothers you, please don’t read any further 🙂

“How are you feeling?”  

I’ve been asked that question so many times in the last week or so and it’s a really hard question to answer!  After my operation I was really eager to get back to ‘normal’, but it was difficult to know what normal was.  Certainly I had unrealistic expectations when it came to recovery :-S

After my HyCoSy procedure I was told that I’d need surgery to remove one or both of my Fallopian tubes and I asked a Nurse what the recovery time was.  She told me that I’d need to take off the day of the procedure and the following day.  I thought this was great, I made arrangements with work and that was that.

But she was referring to the procedure I’d just had done!  The recovery time for the kind of Laparoscopy I had is 2-3 weeks!

How am I feeling….?  Disappointed – I thought I’d be back on my feet much quicker.

hospital gown

The procedure hurts. I wish someone had warned me beforehand that my entire abdomen would ache…all of it….alot, that my back would be sore, that my stitches would be tight and itchy and (believe it or not) my shoulder would be incredibly painful too (this is caused by the gas that surgeons use to fill your abdomen so that they can see what they’re doing).   I’ve found that a wheat pack helps and I’m taking all the drugs!

How am I feeling….?  Sore!

After a couple of days I ended up back in hospital.  I’d had a slight complication that apparently isn’t uncommon – my bowel had been affected by the surgery.  The damage wasn’t permanent but it meant a day and a night back on the ward.

How am I feeling…?  Flipping uncomfortable!!

iv drip

There’s one incision in my belly-button and two at knicker-elastic height and they’re really tight and sore!  I understand why they’ve placed the incisions there – once healed you won’t be able to see the scars even when I wear a bikini.  So that’s great for the future but for now it means that I can’t wear anything with a waistline.  Trousers, skirts, leggings, joggers, PJs…..not a chance!!  I’m strictly wearing dresses with no or high waistbands, of which I own three.  I’m wearing them on rotation with sensible Birkenstocks and big pants, the biggest pants I’ve ever owned.

How am I feeling….?  Frumpy 🙁 


I decided I was well enough to go with my family to our friend’s birthday barbecue and it felt great to be out of the house.  But after a while, I had to retire to their sofa and miss out on what was left of the sunshine.  The same was true of my friend Laura’s 50th.  I couldn’t miss such a big birthday and I was doing alright until the party moved to the dance-floor, then I snuck off to the comfy sitting room, took my tablets with a nice cup of tea and waited to be taken home.  Kiki was singing and my friends were throwing some serious shapes, I was sat in an armchair – granny style.  I don’t deal very well with sitting on the side-lines :-/

How am I feeling…..?  Frustrated.

crosby beach bench

The nurses said that I shouldn’t lift anything or be on my feet for long but that as time went by I could slowly but surely return to normal activities as and when I felt able.  I’m sure she didn’t mean that once my pain killers kicked in I could clean the kitchen and hoover the carpets, but that’s what I did and I really suffered for it later!   A few days ago I needed some reassurance advice about my stitches, so I spoke to a practice nurse.  She said that my stitches were fine but that I ought to be more mindful of the fact that I’d had major surgery.  MAJOR SURGERY.  I suppose because the incisions are small, I allowed myself to think this was a minor operation and had probably pushed myself to far from the get go.

How am I feeling….?  Silly.

Beth’s been a little star, she’s made me countless cups of tea, re-heated my wheat pack and made our lunch every day.  She kept me company, made me smile and gave me a cuddle when things got a bit too much. I honestly couldn’t have managed without her.  After I insisted that she get out of the house, she arranged to go to the park with her friend, but spent most of the time calling me to check I was ok.  It’s such a shame – she’s been such a good girl, she deserves to be taken out and spoilt, but I just can’t manage a day trip right now and by the time I’m back at full strength, she’ll probably be back at school.

How am I feeling….?  Guilty.

beth kid praising

So I’ve been working from home for the last week and tomorrow I’m going to attempt the commute to my office.  There won’t be a sofa and there might not even be a seat on the train.  There will be nowhere to go for a nap, no Beth to keep my mug filled with tea and my wheat pack might even be allowed to go cold!

How am I feeling….?  Nervous.

But now that the operation is done and I know that everything is clean and tidy ‘in there’, I feel much better.  I’m still in pain but that’s from the operation.  All the worry about surgery has gone and I’m moving into a new stage in my life without the thought of infertility and blocked tubes and growths hanging over me.  My friends have stepped forward and offered to take Beth out to do a host of activities, so that she gets to have the best Summer ever in recognition of everything she’s done and how awesome she is – I asked for help and it came en mass.  I’ve had waves of love and support from a few good friends and family and I feel so blessed.  You never know who will be there for you until you really need someone.

How am I feeling….?  Grateful.


Thank you for all of your support and well wishes – you’re all so lovely 🙂

Love Rachel





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