I love Christmas. I so want the perfect Christmas for my family. Every year I seem to get closer and closer to that perfect yuletide and yet every year I finish Christmas by concluding that my exhausting efforts weren’t even needed. It’s always the little things that make Christmas special and staying up for hours on end, trying to make things, finish things etc, only serves to make me tired and grumpy; not very festive at all!
Somehow though, by the time next Christmas has come around, I always seem to have cast aside my new found wisdom and once again jump on the overcommitment band wagon. It’s the control freak in me that does it. I want the house to be full and festive, yet immaculate and organised; I want the food to be delicious and plentiful, yet I want it made from scratch and made by me. I want it to be special, I want it to be unique, I want my loved ones to feel special and unique for having been a part of it. So every year without fail I commit to too much and inevitably set myself up for failure.
This year due to some unexpected personal challenges, I just haven’t been on the ball at all. It hasn’t been so much a lack of time, just a lack of head space and general motivation! I tend to make Christmas difficult for myself at the best of times and having only just come to terms with the fact that the big days is just 5 sleeps away, I have begun to panic.
You’d think that after 10 years of ‘doing’ Christmas I would have learnt my lesson, but I haven’t.
It’s 5 sleeps ’til Christmas and we’re redecorating….or should I say I’m redecorating, because Phill is currently working all hours.
It’s 5 sleeps ’til Christmas and I’m not even half way through my shopping.
It’s 5 sleeps ’til Christmas and we’re having guests this weekend.
It’s 5 sleeps ’til Christmas and I haven’t posted our Christmas cards.
I felt organised, so organised…. about a month ago, but time has just caught up with me. To top it all, my Beth isn’t very well. She’s been quietly fighting off a virus for a couple of weeks and it’s chosen the last few days to make it’s last stand and make her really ill. She even missed two of the three performances of her Christmas play, in which she is performing the respected part of……drum roll please……a wise man’s servant!
She went to bed several hours early this evening, and when she kissed me goodnight, she reminded me that I promised to bake some cupcakes for her class mates. I did promise her.
I made these cakes a few weeks ago for an article in Modern Vintage Magazine and Beth loved them. I’d made all the fondant leaves and berries ready to bake some more for her classmates; but today my get up and go has quite simply got up and gone (somewhere warmer!!).
So tonight my must do jobs are as follows; a third (yes third! rubbish paint!) coat of paint in the guest bathroom, unpack 4 boxes of books, craft materials and ‘wedding stuff’, bake cakes for 3 dozen children, clean kitchen, clean myself….and sleep. Time to roll my sleeves up methinks!!!
I’ve decided to bake a couple of tray bakes instead of cupcakes…I think I deserve to be cut just a little bit of slack! I’ll be exhausted by the time Christmas comes around, but at least the house will look nice, the food will be good and Beth will be very proud of her Mum!
And who am I kidding….I love this stuff!! Stressful or not, futile or not (!) I love the Christmas madness! I can’t wait to see our friends this weekend, I can’t wait for Christmas day and I can’t wait for Boxing Day when i promise myself that next year it will al be different 😛
Wish me luck!