There were many things I wanted to be when I was a little girl: a barrister, an artist, a pilot…my plans changed with every inch I grew.  But the one thing that was never changing was my certainty that I would be a mum….and to lots of children!

Like alot of girls I played at motherhood from a very young age.  Lining up my dolls, I remember deciding that ten would be a reasonable number of children to have and in my head I had names for them all.  They were all girls (because boys were smelly), they’d each be born exactly 1 year apart so that they’d be close in age and I’d home school them because I didn’t want their teachers to spend more time with them that I did.  I’d dress them like Phyllis and Roberta from the Railway children (not even joking) and I’d NEVER force them to brush their hair when it was knotty and hurt. 😊

When you’re a child you don’t consider practicalities – you don’t have to.  I didn’t really consider the partner that would help me make these daughters, how I might afford to look after them or really anything about the future, the World and how it might influence my plans.  But the World did influence my plans – the World had very different plans for me.

I wasn’t quite 18 when I found out I was having Beth and just 19 when I was told that I’d likely never have another child.  Looking back, it took the entirety of my twenties for me to come to terms with this.  I loved being Beth’s Mum and it crippled me to think that I’d never feel that with any other child. I struggled alot – it effected my relationships, my health and the way that I parented Beth.  I felt robbed and grieved every month that pregnancy passed me by.

Never in my wildest dreams had I considered that this would be my reality, but it was and there was nothing I could do about it.  I spent my 20s trying to convince myself that I was ok with it – but I really wasn’t.

I’m a firm believer that everything happens for a reason.  When Beth was six I met my husband and slowly but surely we became a family.  Had I not become infertile at a young age, our lives might have been very different.  Perhaps Beth and I wouldn’t be so close had there been other children?  Maybe I would have lived in a different town, done a different job?  Phill and I would never have met?  Though I wish we could have been spared the heartache, I like the life we now have and wouldn’t swap it for anyone else’s.

It’s been a journey to get to this point and we have another journey ahead of us because…

…I’m pregnant.

bananagrams pregnancy announcement big sister

Wow! I am tearing up at my computer after writing those words!!  I’ve dreamt about making this announcement for so long!  I’m expecting, I have a bun in the oven, I’m knocked up, I’m with child, I’m going to have a baby….I’M PREGNANT!!

safety pin pregnancy announcement vintage folly

After 12 years of longing, a year of preparation, 2 general anaesthetics, 4 invasive medical procedures, 85 self administered injections (and counting), 5 melt downs and a whole lot of hoping and praying, Phill, Beth and I are finally going to be welcoming the 4th member of our family in February 2016.

I’m already rather plump because of all the medication and I LOVE it!  I feel like the luckiest unlucky girl in the World! Friends…meet baby Palmer.

baby palmer 8weeks

Now if anyone has any name suggestions, or ideas on how to relieve morning sickness that lasts all day – I’d be really grateful!

Love Rachel

x

 

 

  • Mancunian Vintage

    Congratulations!! This is such lovely news xxx

    • VintageFolly

      Thanks Helen – we’re all so happy about it x

  • Old Fashioned Susie

    The BEST news I’ll probably hear today. Huge congratulations. I’m so excited for you all ❤️

    • VintageFolly

      eeeek! Thanks Susie xxxxx

  • Rachel Coggin

    After reading your previous blogs hinting about these things, I am so happy to read this! Huge congratulations xx

    • VintageFolly

      Can’t get anything past you Rachel. Thank so much xx

  • fashion-mommy

    Amazing news. I am so pleased for you. Such brilliant news.x

    • VintageFolly

      Thanks lovely x

  • Mellissa Williams

    Congratulations, I bet you are over the moon. Such exciting times ahead for you!

    • VintageFolly

      We are indeed completely over the moon! x

  • Kitty Clerck

    What absolutely wonderful news! I have been hoping for ages that I would one day see this post from you . . . as I told you a long time ago, I was also told that I wouldn’t be able to have another baby after having my son and yet we were blessed with our little miracle girl who is now 9. Secondary infertility is incredibly difficult to deal with and very poorly understood by many (if I had a pound for the number of times I was told that I should be grateful that I already had a child . . . )

    Anyway, I hope that you enjoy your pregnancy despite the horrible morning sickness (anything with ginger seemed to help me) and love and best wishes to you, Phil and Beth xxxxxxxxx

    • VintageFolly

      Ahhh Kitty it’s so nice to hear from someone who understands. I’m very grateful for Beth – she’s more than enough…that’s the problem. Being her Mum is so good, I didn’t want to just do it once. I knew what I was missing out on and what she and Phill were missing out on and it hurt so much.

      So happy now. Lovely to hear about your miracle baby – ours needed a little help from science ;-P

      • Kitty Clerck

        No shame in having to have a little help . . . it took us 6 years and a lot of help from the Recurrent Miscarriage Clinic at St Mary’s Hospital in London and the John Radcliffe Fertility Clinic at Oxford 😉 !!!

  • Congratulations, that’s brilliant news. SO so happy for you!

    • VintageFolly

      Thanks Lauren 🙂

  • Amanda Fisher

    This is wonderful news!! As someone who, like yourself, always envisioned a lifetime of parenting lots and lots of children, I know that heartache of only having one oh so well (and yet also knowing how lucky you are to even have one, it’s confusing, right?!) I am so, so happy for you that your dream is coming true. Good luck with everything xx

    • VintageFolly

      Thanks Amanda. I know what you mean – I’m so grateful for having one, but it makes me sad that she’s missed out on siblings, especially as she wanted them so badly. x

  • Congrats!! <3 I too know the heartache of TTC. I have stage 4 endo and have been TTC for the last almost 4 years. We are 8 weeks pregnant now!

    • VintageFolly

      We’ll be big and round together! Yeay!

  • Amy

    Couldn’t be happier to hear this news, lady! I wish you and your beautiful family all the best xx

    • VintageFolly

      Thanks so much Amy xxx

  • Wow – wonderful post, I wish you all the best on your pregnancy journey!

    • VintageFolly

      Thank you so much. It’s finallu starting to feel real now 😊